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THE DAILY LASH

Think. Rant. Post. Repeat.

My sister has a friend, who we’ll call “X” who works in management at KU DE TA, a fancy smancy bar/restaurant located in the skypark at the Marina Bay Sands in Singapore. Now he meets a lot of douchebags up there, and one of them happened to be a Sri Lankan Minister (who I won’t disclose because I don’t want my ass sued for defamation).

Basically, a lot of money was being thrown down. Bottles of Cristal and Dom. Over $10K gone in a second. So X decided to ask if he would like to be a part of his charity program that helps fund unfortunate kids with football jerseys and trainers for practice. He replied, “What do I get out of it?”

Sorry kids, but apparently pretentious rich bastards don’t give a damn about you. Truth be told, Sri Lanka continues to be among the world’s most corrupt nations.

So what’s more infuriating than that? Than Shwe wanting to bid $1bn (£634m) to buy Manchester United football club.

Burma struggled to recover from a cyclone that killed 140,000, and all the ruling junta can think about is a $1 billion shopping spree. But at least the bid didn’t go through, instead spent on the creation of a new multimillion dollar nation football league at the same time as aid agencies were reporting that one year on, many survivors of the cyclone still lacked permanent housing, access to clean water, and tools for fishing and agriculture.

What a douchebag.

Is he REALLY a Red Devils fan though? Or is he just trying to find another alternative to export his plentiful supply of heroin? Because just like Sierra Leone, football has been known to facilitate narcotics trafficking.

Cue nausea.

– MIZ

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